Sheila Sims Iding
When he was born on May 14, 1982, he came into the world a bit early. He didn’t have toenails or eyelashes. Joey was such a strong baby and he was so skinny when they said he was my son….I couldn’t believe it.
He had trouble eating and slept way more than he should. A newborn baby who barely cried, hardly ever ate and slept more than most babies? I couldn’t believe it.
When he didn’t gain enough weight to get his first set of shots and he had almost 30 treatable infections that first year…he was so sick. I couldn’t believe it.
When he was diagnosed with the immune deficiency and had to get painful injections every month…his pain was hard to watch because he was so little and so sick. I couldn’t believe it.
When he was two years old and had barely spoken a few words, we questioned his abilities. Then I hung up his birthday sign and he told me every single letter. At age 2 he knew them all. He said: “There’s a H and A and two P’s….” I couldn’t believe it.
When he was only three years old he would carry the big family Bible around the house and hold the big prayer book at mass. We offered him smaller children’s books with pictures. He told us “the words are the pictures”. I couldn’t believe it.
When he was really young and told us he wanted to be a pirate when he grew up or go to Texas or China and teach others about Jesus…the pirate part I believed but the calling to Texas or China…I couldn’t believe it.
When he was really young he would climb on the top of our shed to sit and pray. He said he was closer to heaven up there. He was too little and weak to climb up that high…proximity to heaven or not. Somehow he had the strength to climb up there. I couldn’t believe it.
When he was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis the doctor’s phone call came at dinnertime. The test was positive. He had CF. His life expectancy was only age 15. I hung up the phone and I wept. He was only 4 years old and didn’t understand the devastation of that phone call. He cried too. But he cried because his chicken was too hot to eat. I couldn’t believe it.
When he was in and out of the hospital in 5th grade he was so stoic. When they couldn’t get his PICC line in (for IV meds) and they kept trying and trying…I finally had some tears but he never cried. He reminded me it was Lent and to remember the pain Jesus endured. Such faith-filled courage. I couldn’t believe it.
From the time he was in 2nd grade I would find the light on in his room late at night. He was reading saint books and religion books. He explained.... "I have to know this stuff to be a good priest." As I would quietly take the book from his hands and turn out his light, I thought about his devotion to serve God. I couldn't believe it.
When he was in 5th grade he got chosen for a speech contest about what you want to be when you grow up. He gave his speech about wanting to Answer God’s call to priesthood. He had just gotten out of the hospital and still had his PICC line in. He was weak and tired and worn but he gave that speech. I couldn’t believe it.
When he was in high school he worked so hard to run cross-country and track. Every practice he trained harder and harder. Every race he lined up hoping to win. He never did. But he lined up the next race with the same determination and hope. I couldn’t believe it.
When he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome while in high school. He carried the Autism cross with the same tenacious determination as he carried the CF cross. Carrying two crosses for the rest of his life. I couldn’t believe it.
Counselors, doctors and other professionals told him that he shouldn’t go away to college. They said he couldn’t manage both CF and Autism. They didn’t know about his determination and resolve and his faith. They said he shouldn’t go. I couldn’t believe it.
While he was away at college he signed up for weekly adoration at a church in the poor part of Grand Rapids during the middle of the night. He did it for the simple reason that no one else would take that time slot in the middle of the night in that part of town. Every week in the middle of the night he made the trek to be with Jesus. I couldn’t believe it.
After college he went to China to be with Fr. Brian and his Maryknoll missionary work there. For the first time he was in a place where he didn’t feel judged. He fell in love with China and they fell in love with him. I couldn’t believe it.
After he returned home to get a masters degree in World Religions he got accepted into the seminary. His dream was coming true. The phone call that he was accepted brought tears, too. But these were celebratory tears. He wanted to be a priest since he was two years old (maybe even before) and his dream was coming true. I couldn’t believe it.
When we took him to the seminary and dropped him off we didn’t stay long. He wanted to go to the adoration chapel to spend some time with Jesus. We explained that we just wanted to help him feel at home there. He told us once he saw the Pope’s flag flying outside the seminary, he knew he was home. He was so instantly comfortable there, I couldn’t believe it.
When the call came that Tuesday before Ash Wednesday and he told us “I’m done.” I thought he meant he was done with some exam. He meant with the seminary. They were asking him to leave. They never gave a reason. Never. He had great grades. He had done everything they asked...and more. He still had God's calling in his heart. Was it the CF? The Autism? God’s will? They wouldn’t give a reason. I couldn’t believe it.
When other priests and seminarians came forward to support him and help him pick up the pieces, their faith in his dream and his purpose were so consoling. I couldn’t believe it.
When he pursued another masters in theology to serve God in some way and Fr. Brian asked him to come to China to work there, I couldn’t believe it.
When he moved to a communist country, to a polluted city, with no CF doctors half way around the world and chance to teach others about Jesus, he had a new purpose, a new meaning, a new mission. He was moving to China for years to do God’s work. I couldn’t believe it.
And on May 14 he will celebrate his 31st birthday and celebrate this life full of unbelievable moments. Overcoming illness and CF and Autism. Using his brilliant mind to study theology. Using his unending faith to serve God. And most unbelievable of all…the dream of a little 3 or 4 year old who just wanted to grow up and live past age 15 and “go to China to teach others about Jesus”. Exactly where he is today on his 31st birthday.
As his life has unfolded, so many unbelievable things have happened to bless his days and his life. And the fact that he ended up in China doing missionary work is proof that God had to have a hand in all of this from before his first birthday until now.
I have figured out a lot of things in my life but I have never figured out why I got to be his mother. The fact that God has blessed my life with his is simply…unbelievable.
Happy, Blessed Birthday, Timothy Patrick Dominic Iding!!