Sheila Sims Iding
Most of us have a friend like this. If you are really lucky you have more than one. You know…the kind of friend where you don’t see each other for weeks…months…maybe years. Then you meet and it’s like the weeks…months…years…disappear. It’s like there was never any time between your last visit and this visit. It’s like the connection you have in thought transcends time. The connection you have in heart transcends location. And the connection you have in this special friendship transcends both.
Most friendships start with a common thread and this friendship was no different. We both worked at St. Gerard School. Sometimes that common thread is all you have but sometimes there are so many threads it makes a beautiful friendship tapestry. So it was with this friendship and the threads of our lives being intertwined and made stronger over many years. We shared so much over ALL these years:
Counsel: She was our school counselor so there were many days I found refuge in her office. There were students with special needs, students with dire needs and families in crisis. Her counsel not only guided those students and families and needs…her counsel guided me.
And More Counsel: As she became less of a colleague and more of a friend, I found myself seeking her counsel for my own life. For parenting, for colleague-ing, for life lessons. She guided my boys through some grade school issues…some life challenges…and she guided this mother’s heart to a place of comfort.
Prayer: We were on the school HUGS committee together. HUGS stands for “Helping Us Get Spiritual”. It is a committee of several staff people who help plan luncheons, activities and prayer services to help celebrate our work together. We were in charge of the prayer services and as much as we tried to make them spiritual and meaningful for the staff…it was the planning of them that was most meaningful and spiritual to us. We spent many hours planning, writing, praying, writing, planning and working on the prayer services. You really get to know someone when you write, plan and pray together. Admittedly, especially as we worked in the summer, there were special lunches and “beverages” involved. All of which created even more threads…a stronger bond.
Teaching: She is one of the main reasons I am a teacher today. She knew me as a teacher aide. She knew me as a mom of three kids with special needs. She knew my dream of being a teacher and how unreachable it seemed. And when I would talk about my dream she would encourage me to check into going back to school to make it a reality. So I finally did. And then after checking into the dream of finally being a teacher I was devastated with the news. I took my dejected heart back to the haven of her office and told her what they told me. “It will take three more years of college to be a teacher.” It was too long and I was ready to quit on teaching and even more…quit on my dream. Just as I was giving up right there in her office, she asked me the life-changing question. “Three years from now where do you want to be? Still wishing you were a teacher? Or actually being a teacher?”. That question made it less devastating and resurrected my dream. Like many discussions with her, she untangled the mess and created a clearer picture of life’s plan…more threads in the tapestry.
Comfort: Most days she would get to school even before I did. Because her office was near the front door I would see her light on and be greeted with a gentle, friendly “good morning”. She was in her office so I never really saw her smile as I hurried to my classroom but I heard it in her voice. There was always the smell of her perfume…which is signature to her. And sometimes there was the scent of her coffee. But always the smiling voice wishing me “good morning.” I miss that…still. Every morning when I walk into that building and see that corner office…I miss her…still.
Being: There was also just the part of her being there. Her laughter in the hallways, her special relationships with the students, her wisdom in those difficult meetings with parents, her humorous interactions with staff, her insights at our frequent girls-night-out dinners. Her high style and great tastes. No denim skirts or khakis for her. And when she was in charge of the treat for the staff meeting, it was never popcorn or cheese and crackers. She went above and beyond in many areas…including fashion and staff functions…and, mostly, caring about kids, families, teachers.
So when we met for lunch this week I was so excited to reunite, that the day and time couldn’t come fast enough. I wished the 1:00 p.m. lunch time was noon instead. I couldn’t wait to see her because it had been so long. And when I saw her it immediately it seemed like not so long at all. With the first hug I smelled that signature perfume and heard that gentle laugh. And then I knew the weeks and months had already disappeared. And so we had lunch.
And we talked about all the things we always talked about. School and family and pets and work and writing and faith…and life. We shared stories about our journeys…both land journeys and life journeys. We laughed about old memories and shared concerns about other memories. We explored worries and fears and celebrated triumphs and victories. We looked at wedding pictures. We looked at the past we shared. We looked at the paths we hope to take in the future.
We laughed and talked and memory-ed for so long that the lunch hour flew by and the “hour” turned into hours and the lunchtime turned into dinnertime. Like the days and weeks that had been between us, the hours of our “lunch” seemed like minutes as we strengthened the threads of the tapestry of our friendship.
And as we said goodbye I realized again all that her friendship means to me. All that her friendship gives to me. Like all those times I walked out of her office, when I left our lunch-turned-into-dinner, my heart felt lighter, my worries seemed calmer and my hopes seemed higher. As I left her, I could still smell that perfume, I could still hear that laugh, I could still ponder her wisdom and I vowed not to wait so long to see her again…to add more threads to that tapestry because the presents of her friendship are truly found in her presence.
Thank you, Patricia Potter, for tapestry threads, for all the presents of your friendship and for the presence of YOU.