Sheila Sims Iding
When you are a parent, you try to do your best. Every day you try to do your best. Every day you make several…more than several…parenting decisions. Some days are tougher than others. Some decisions are tougher than others. Looking back on parenting when our kids were younger, there are things I would do differently…decisions I would have made differently. But there in one decision that I will be forever grateful I made and stuck to.
I am not sure where I got the idea. I am not sure if someone told me. I am not sure if I read it in a book or a magazine. I know I didn’t read it online or see it on facebook. We didn’t have to worry about that 30 years ago. Anyway…the idea came to me…maybe it was the Holy Spirit…we decided that our boys would only get 3 gifts for Christmas. Three gifts. That’s all. Nothing more. Nothing less. Three gifts. It is Jesus’ birthday and that is all He got. Three gifts. Nothing more. Nothing less. So…as we celebrate HIS birthday, we would do the same.
The decision worked out better than I could have ever hoped. The three gifts: one from Santa, one from mom and dad and one from your brothers were all they ever needed. And…it actually made my life more simple. I didn’t have to worry about a money quota for each child. I didn’t have to worry about making the gifts even. I didn’t have to worry about getting one more thing because they “deserved” it. There was less shopping, less wrapping, less worry. The decision was a gift itself. From toddlers to grade school to teenage years….three gifts. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Oh…it wasn’t all joy in gift-ville. There was some explaining to do. As they got older and asked Santa for several things…they wondered why he only brought one gift. (That answer was simple: Santa is St. Nick and he understands about Jesus’ birthday and the three wisemen and the three gifts.) We had to explain why other kids had so many presents under the tree and, even harder, after Christmas when others were playing with all the new toys, we had to answer why they couldn’t have as many. It was never a pity party or a pathetic plea…mostly they were just curious. Sometimes enviously curious. But, quite simply, it was Jesus’ birthday…not theirs.
Each question begging for an explanation became a teachable moment. Each question doubting the decision we made became a chance to retell THE birthday story. Each year was another opportunity to remind them the very reason of Christmas. It wasn’t long before they became the story teller. It wasn’t too many years before they were telling their friends why they only got three gifts. It wasn’t long before they were telling about the three birthday gifts for Baby Jesus.
I realize the three gift rule isn't for everyone. I realize there are some kids who get nothing for Christmas and some who only get one gift. I realize that there are parents who love to lavish gifts on kids. We do that too. At birthdays. A CF mom once said when your child has CF you celebrate birthdays BIG...and that we do. Lots of gifts...lots of celebrating. And that works for many families at Christmas. I am not saying it is wrong. I am just saying for our family, the three gift rule served a great purpose.
And so it is still today. They still get three gifts even thou we are way past trying to make a point. It is still Jesus’ birthday. Still three gifts. And with the three gifts there is an appreciation of the story of Christmas, a respect for the reason of Christmas and a gratitude for the THREE birthday gifts of Christmas. Three gifts. Nothing more. Nothing less.