Sheila Sims Iding
As another SunDAY falls to Sun-Evening, I am reminded of my Sunday evenings growing up. A lot of us have memories of our weekends growing up. A lot of us have Sunday memories of family times on a day that used to be set aside for family. But I grew up where Sunday at 7 p.m. was a special appointment on memory lane. Sundays at 7 were family conference time. It was time my dad set aside each week for us to meet as a family and…well…conference.
Our day had already been filled with a long 20-mile trip from our house in Aurelius to St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in downtown Lansing. I had already sang in the choir with my sisters at the communion service and then ridden home that long drive made even longer by the smell of cigarettes and the Sunday newspaper.
By evening, we had already played outside (probably football, softball or basketball), ridden bikes and petted pets.
By evening we had already watched my dad polish apples and check the dates of coins for his coin collection.
By evening, we had already been through the Detroit Lions game on a “snowy” TV and we had already asked “What’s the score of the game?” too many times for my dad.
By evening we had already had the Sunday meal my dad always prepared. It was always the same thing…pot roast, potatoes or noodles, and brussel sprouts.
By evening the dishes were done, the table was cleaned and it was time for conference.
By 7:00 p.m. we would all gather around the table. We would gather around the Sunday dessert my dad made. It was always gingerbread with homemade whipping cream or Boston Cream Pie from a box mix. It was the only dessert night so that made it more special. Still, I think some Sundays we would gather willingly but I think there were some we did it reluctantly. But the point is…we gathered. My dad would bring my mom in her wheelchair and we would sit as a family and talk about….family.
We would weigh in (not sure why he kept a little notebook with our weights in it…but he did.) He would weigh in too. I think it may have been because my sister, Sharon, had major heart surgery when she was little and maybe he was tracking her weight/growth. Also, my sister, Susan, had spent a summer in the hospital recovering from Chorea. So maybe the weigh-in was a health check.
After the weigh in was my favorite time, we would get our allowance if we EARNED it. Keyword…”EARN”. We never knew if we had earned our allowance that week until conference time. You could have blown your chance to get allowance by Tuesday but worked your tail off to the end of the week to make up for it…and never know until 7 p.m. (or a few minutes later) if you actually would get your allowance. I was extremely disappointment some Sundays at 7:15 but only had myself to blame. Yet another lesson I learned the hard way.
After allowance was the “conference” part where we would talk about family things coming up, family concerns about mom being sick and issues we had to work on…as a family. It was also our time, our only time, to “table” our gripes and complaints. My dad wasn’t much for whining and complaining and certainly not one for allowing us to feel sorry for ourselves. But for a few minutes on Sunday evening we got to table our poor-us, woe-is-me, gripes and complaints. We got to “tattle” on sisters and talk about what was on our mind. We would have a chance to say anything that bothered us.
I didn’t know it then. I didn’t know that Sunday at 7:00 p.m. put my dad way ahead of his parenting time. I didn’t know that Sunday at 7:00 p.m. was really a counseling session. I didn’t know that Sunday at 7:00 p.m. would stay in my mind…and in my heart. What I knew was that no matter what the week brought there would be a time to gather with family and share fears about what our family faced…share hopes about better days to come…share wishes about how we wished things were different.
I thought Sunday’s at 7:00 p.m. were always conference time but now I know it was a refuge for a family facing adversity and a haven to protect our love, our hopes, our wishes…our blessings of being a family together each and every second of the week…but especially on Sundays at 7:00 p.m.