Sheila Sims Iding
My dad was my everything. If you know me or know my writing you already know…he was my everything. Father, mother, friend, teacher, coach. He taught me many things in those roles.
He taught me “dad” things: how to make straight lines when mowing the lawn. How to rotate tires. How to build the bonfire for leaves in the fall. How to sing the MSU fight song and how to blink back tears during MSU Shadows.
He taught me “mom” things: How to curl my hair. How to buy your first bra (with a pink bow). How to make square corners on the top sheet. How to make neat folds when wrapping gifts. How to polish my nails. Not that these aren’t “dad” things but back when I grew up there was more of a separation of roles…except when your dad got to be both parents.
He taught me friend things: How hard it is to say goodbye to pets. How to write thank you notes for every gift. How to return food containers to friends with a treat inside. How to decorate gravesites on “Decoration Day”. How to sit around after a ball game and rehash every inning…hell…we rehashed every out.
He taught me teacher things: How to take pride in your work. How to take pride in a “C” if that was the best you could do and how to be ashamed of that “C” if you could have tried harder. How to respect education.
But many of the life lessons my dad taught me were taught in his role as my coach. For over 15 years he coached me in softball. Anyone who was lucky enough to play under his coaching philosophy learned a lot about the game…and a lot about life between those two lines on the ball diamond.
Some of the life lessons I learned between the lines:
Always hustle, play with pride: You may not strike out one batter or get a big hit with runners on base. You may even make a crucial error. But no matter your performance level, or the score, or the inning on any particular day…you can always hustle and play with pride. Those were the very words he said to us before every game. Always Hustle. Play with pride! Same with your life. It may not always be perfect but you can always work hard and work with pride.
Hand over heart: When the national anthem is played you stand at attention, you stand with respect and you put your hand over your heart. For some people the hand-over-the-heart was optional. Not for this coach.
RUN on and off the field: Don’t walk. Don’t even jog. If you want to be out there run…RUN…to your position. Be excited about being out there…in the field…in the on deck circle…in life.
Be a strong teammate: Every team has a weak link. Don’t be that link. On the field or in life.
Want it more: Every player on the field wants to win. That’s why they are there. SomeONE will try harder. SomeONE will keep fighting. SomeONE will want it more than all the other players on the field. Be the ONE.
No regrets: Try your best every single time. Every. Single. Time. If you try your best, no matter the outcome, you will have no regrets. If you strike out on 3 straight pitches and that was the best you could do that at bat…no regrets. If you walk the first 4 batters you face and that was the best you could do that day…no regrets. This “no regrets” rule has served me in parenting. No parenting day was perfect but every day I did the best I could so that I would have…no regrets.
The size of the dog: His favorite quote was “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” That inspired me many times on the field when I was challenged. It inspired me even more in the challenges of life.
Commitment: Playing competitive softball for Lansing Lassies was a huge commitment. No one was forced to make the commitment. But if you were lucky enough to make the team when you were given your uniform you were giving the team your summer. Your whole summer. From the end of April until after Labor Day. Many of us missed prom. Some of us even missed graduation. All of us missed family vacations. The team was our family. It was our commitment. If something matters…really matters…you make that commitment…whole heartedly.
Laugh a little: When you are a new team in a competitive league, when you are a young team in an older league, when you are trying to build your new team up…you fall down…a lot. Once we were playing a team from Orlando, FL and I think they were ranked 5th in the nation. We lost 32-5. And it was a double header. When our team huddled up to mercilessly start the next game, coach laughed and said “I hope you enjoyed that little scrimmage I arranged for you. Now we can go play the real game.” We didn’t win that next game but we laughed and I dare say we didn’t get mercy-ed. And despite the score we learned the true meaning of “always hustle, play with pride”. And no matter how badly you get beaten in life, regroup…and laugh a little.
Give yourself a chance: One of the strictest rules coach had was “no called 3rd strikes”. If it is close enough to be called a strike, it is close enough to swing at it. If you take a called third strike you have no chance to help your team. No chance. Give yourself a chance…and give your team a chance too.
Think, think, think: Know what to do with the ball before you get it. Every play. Every pitch. Every situation. Play it out in your head so you can be prepared. Don't make a mental error. Physical errors were okay. A dropped ball, a missed grounder, a pop-up bunt. Same in life…envision…think…prepare.
Respect: The coach, the umpires, the parents. You don’t have to agree with them but you have to respect them. Don’t get mad at the ump. Don’t talk back to the coach. Appreciate the parents. Respect authority and while you are at it…respect the opposing players too. Respect. Respect. Respect.
Expectations!: We were expected to be at practice ½ hour early. One half hour. We had to be warmed up and ready to go when practiced started. And we came to each game with our spikes polished. It didn’t make us better ball players but it raised the level of expectations and it raised our desire to do more…to be more…to expect more.
A cold beer: I never liked beer. My dad told me I would acquire a taste for it. He would say “One day after a doubleheader on a hot day a beer will taste great.” I tried. It never did. But the lesson I learned is that after a game you can enjoy the beverage of your choice (a Coke) and replay the whole game and learn more about yourself as a player and strengthen the bonds of a team. It still works in life today. You can sit with friends, enjoy a good beverage, and solve world problems. Sort of.
Hope for best: “Hope for the best, expect the worst and deal with whatever comes.” That was my pitching philosophy…from my dad. When the pressure of every pitch was too much for me he gave me this quote to help me. It’s the same with life. Hope for good things. Don’t be surprised by bad things. And deal with the good…and the bad.
There are many more lessons tucked inside those two lines. Like encouraging others, working together, shaking off the bad play or the bad call, and how to sit the bench with grace and hate it at the same time. I still think about those lessons my dad taught me between the lines. They helped me many times during the game…including the game of life.
Thank you, Coach. Thank you, Dad. Much Love. Gus #4