Sheila Sims Iding
This picture is from Tim's first trip to China. That very first trip almost 10 years ago to be with an "uncle" was all he needed to fall in love with the country, the community and the "home" he found in Jilin. There he had someone who believed in him…someone to talk theology with…someone who helped him find his worth…his purpose.
He made many trips back and forth to his beloved China while working on two master degrees in theology...because he loved it there so much. After his 2nd masters degree, he was invited to come live there. And again, because of this gracious invitation, he had renewed purpose and worth…at a time when he needed it most.
I remember getting his ticket that time was harder than all the rest because the ticket said "one way". I actually cried when I checked the "one way" box. Now, he wasn't visiting China. He was moving there. He was moving to a polluted, communist city in Northern China where he found the winters brutal and the food even more so. Still he longed to be there.
Even more…there are no cystic fibrosis doctors and no cystic fibrosis medicine where he was going. Still he couldn’t wait to go.
He loved the people, the country and simplicity of his life there. He loved China and, even more, he loved going back “home” to China. As excited as we were to greet him at the arrival gate, he was equally excited at the departure gate…because he was going “home” to the place he loved.
He was so excited to be with the "family", friends and community he made there and the subtle mission he felt called to do. It was his calling. It was his purpose. It was his humble work…his subtle mission. He would teach English but that wasn’t his vocation.
His vocation was the lives he would touch while he was there. He had friends from all over the world and many asked about his religion and they asked about his saint statues and they asked about his theology books and some even asked to go to mass with him. In a communist country you can’t have a prayer service, or a Bible study group, or talk about religion to your students. You can only live your life so others would ask about it.
And that was his humble mission. Until it wasn't. Until things changed. “Family” changed. International friends came and went from the college campus. Community was taken away. And he was alone. Alone isn’t a good place to be halfway around the world. And still he persevered…even with the changes…even when the excitement wore off and the difficulties set in…he kept going because he said “it felt more like a sacrifice” because it was harder now. He offered it up. And he prayed.
It became even more difficult being alone…being sick at a hospital alone…teaching on Christmas Day and being alone. It was always hard to leave family…even harder to leave a God-daughter. It’s hard to think about a future there without a chance for marriage, without a job with benefits and without enough money to save for anything…even a ticket home. So he prayed.
For over a year, after much prayer and much discernment and much reflection and even more prayer, he has decided to come home after this semester. He will search for a job in the States hoping that two master degrees in theology mean something to someone. And that his yearning to do God’s will can renew his sense of purpose and sense of worth and comfort his servant heart. So…sometime in the near future he will be getting a ticket home from China for the last time. And once again…like I did six years ago…he will check that “one way” box…and I will probably cry. And pray…”well done good and faithful servant.”