Sheila Sims Iding
It’s no wonder today is important to me. Celebrating birthdays are always important. No…not mine. I am celebrating a forever friend’s birthday today because I celebrate all the ways she has gifted my life.
She has been in my life for over 40 years. Whoa! If you know someone for 20 years, doesn’t that seem like a heck of a long time? Over 40 years! We go way back.
We go back to when I lived with her family one summer because living 25 miles out of town wasn’t always easy for the demands of a competitive softball team…especially when you didn’t have a car.
Since that day she shared her family with me. And since that day her sisters are like sisters to me. Her brothers are like brothers. And her parents let me call them mom and dad. Doesn’t get more “family” than that.
With her family I got to learn about being Catholic, the beauty of the simplicity of Holy Cross church, how to make genuine pasties and how good Paul’s Pastry donuts taste on a Sunday morning. And I got to meet a friend of theirs named Pat Iding.
I sat at the dinner table with her and I sat next to her on the bench. She could hit the heck out of a ball and I got to watch her run the bases…all of them. And when I pitched I got to watch her chase down hits in centerfield (when my change up didn't work.) And when I played right field I could take a risk and dive for balls because I knew she was behind me. For 40 years I’ve been able to take more risks and have more courage simply because I knew she would be backing me up…always. Still.
Because of family and friendship and those softball games I got to call her Pepper (a nickname my dad gave her) and she got to call me Gus (because my dad called me that too). And to this day she is still Pepper and I am still Gus.
She stood with me the day I got married (and never forgave me for those hats) and I got to return the favor on her wedding day (and still wonder about those lime green bridesmaid dresses.)
She watched my boys when they were sick so I could take the other sick one to the doctor’s. All my boys called her “Auntie” because she is like family to them. And to this day she is still lovingly called “Auntie Pepper”. And she is still family to them…and now to Addie.
She watched my nephews, Michael and Andy. She was their caregiver and she did just that. She gave care. Lots of it. And her care of Michael and Andy just extended our family even more.
She was one of my first calls when I got engaged and when I had babies.
She called me the second she heard her coach (my dad) had died. I told her not to come over because there wasn’t anything she could do. Five minutes later she was standing at my door. I will always remember how she knew I needed her.
She was one of the first calls I made on that cold winter day when the diagnosis was cystic fibrosis and one of the first calls on that stifling summer day when Andy died.
Is it any wonder I celebrate her today? She is my self-appointed counselor and therapist. (God help her.) She holds me up when I lose strength and she grounds me when I am lofty. She knows me better than any friend could and she has been brutally honest with me…just when I needed it most.
She has sheltered the worries, the concerns and the fears I have entrusted to her…and she has honored me by allowing me to do the same for her and with her.
We have celebrated happy times with a glass of wine (or two) and shared sacred times with the wine of Eucharist.
We have leapt into each other’s arms after the biggest victories and championships and found solace in those same arms at our fathers’ funerals.
Because God knew how much I would need her, He made sure we both worked together at St. Gerard School. And because she knows how much I need her we have 7:15 a.m. meetings (okay…therapy sessions) every school day.
It’s no wonder today is important to me because she is that one “forever friend” that is a gift from God. We have laughed so hard that we can’t control ourselves (or the snorts). We have cried so hard that no words can come out…because none are needed.
Just the sound of her voice (and that laugh) bring a sense of comfort. And her presence makes me feel like I am home.
Today is her birthday and I celebrate the gift of Carol Barrons Schafer. For over 40 years she has gifted my life with hers so her special day is most special me. We have been through so much together so…it’s no wonder.
HaPpY, HaPpY Birthday, Pepper Jean! Love you, Gus.