Sheila Sims Iding
Some days you like. Some days you don’t. There are some days you look forward to like a little kid counts down to his birthday. And some days you dread coming like you dread the dentist drill. Today is a “dentist drill” kind of day.
December 21 was written on my calendar as “homecoming” day and when people asked when Tim gets home “December 21” came out of my mouth before their question was done. And when they ask when is Tim leaving, the solemn answer was, January 12. Today is January 12. Today, he left.
Whenever he leaves, whenever anyone leaves, there are always some things left behind. That shirt he used for running still in the dryer, that highlighter he uses to study theology, the boxes of cereal he ran out of time to eat. The hardest thing is coming home from the airport and finding the things that he left behind. And as you gather the forgotten items, you remember not to forget the “other” things he left.
He left us with a special gift on December 21 before he even landed. With a 4 hour delay looming he was able to get online on the airplane and from iPad to iPad, we skyped. Thousands of feet in the air and what seemed liked hundreds of minutes before “that” hug, we got to skype and see his face.
He left us special showings of pictures from his travels, his work, his home in China. Each new presentation gave us a greater insight into his days, his work and his life. It brought us closer to him, even half way around the world.
He left us with an appreciation of the food we get to eat everyday. Cheese and cereal and meat and even salad and bread. No salads…no salad dressings in China. No Taco Bell, no Mancinos, no Outback. He gained weight but he will lose it fast.
He left us with appreciation for sleep and sleep patterns. Just trying to stay awake for New Year’s Eve gave me a new empathy for 13-hour time differences. Trying to stay awake when it’s nearly impossible, trying to fit your disrupted sleep into a busy family schedule and trying to be “on” and social when people stop over…is a challenge. It’s almost like having the flu and trying to recover instantly. Jet lag “flu” takes a few days to get over.
He left us with an appreciation of winter weather. While we are having a mild winter Jilin is having one of its coldest winters on record. When he left Jilin it was 41 degrees BELOW zero. He will return to below zero temperatures. And Tim is one of those people who is always cold. It’s a brutal sacrifice to live in a city so far north in China, the weather resembles Siberia.
He left us with a special memory on Christmas morning of tears that came quickly to someone who doesn’t usually cry. His brothers and new sister brought him gifts of warmth for his cold Jilin days. There was a fleece from one and NFL Saint sweatpants from another. Gifts that don’t seem like that much until you have nothing to give back. Except it turns out the gift from Tim was priceless. He gave each one of us a souvenir from his travels to Singapore. He thought he was giving us a little $5.00 gift but it turns out it was much more than that. With his gift came a handwritten note that said:
“My gift is not great but
it is from where I have been.
Because wherever I go,
you are also there.”
Love you, Timothy
And with that note, his gift became priceless.
He left us with a new appreciation for the work he does and the mission he lives. I got him the Pope’s new book (Jesus of Nazareth) for Christmas thinking it might be some enjoyable reading while he was home. The book became a study guide with that highlighter and a notebook nearby to record words that will help his teaching…his mission. Everyday, from Christmas morning on, his face was in that book, those words were recorded in his mind and reflected in his heart. When you are doing mission work, your job is never done.
He left with a special bag from the Rosary Shoppe of things he purchases to help teach those who don’t know Jesus. The bag contains prayer cards and religious coins and crosses and…hopes that they will help others know God.
He left us with determination to continue to work hard for Maryknoll, for Fr. Brian and for his vocation. He brought home notebooks to study the language and to study the characters. We watched in disbelief as he practiced the character for Vietnam over and over. Really? That is how you write Vietnam? If you can’t understand our disbelief, google the Chinese character for zero. That is what he is dealing with and why he brings home “homework” even on Christmas vacation.
He left us after teaching the saints to 40 first graders in person. Not on skype. Not through a smart board. Not with distorted words and pictures that happen online. He came in person to meet his saint students. He could have been a rock star when he walked in that room the first time but that is never what it is about. It is about how he played the saint game with my class and they knew. They knew the saint whose cross is an “X”. They knew the saint who felt misunderstood. They knew the gospel writer pictured with an eagle and the patron saint of music. They knew ALL 26 saints he has taught so far. And for the first time, he saw how his teaching from half way around the world, settles in their little Christian hearts…and they know.
He left us after teaching 40 first graders about China and the land he loves and the people he serves. He spoke to us in Chinese, showed us his passport with all those stamps and taught us how to write Chinese characters for numbers 1 through 10 and just for fun…they tried writing that character for zero. I can’t tell you how much he means to these Care Corner Kids I can’t tell you how many parents came up to me to tell me just that. This truly is it’s own little mission work.
He left us after visiting with friends who always contact him when he his home (those few friends bless his life immensely). At a time in his life when friends are needed most, these friends always come through for him and they know he is always there for them.
He left us after counseling yet another seminarian just released from the seminary unfairly. (Very unfairly) He talked again with his friend who desperately wants to be a priest but keeps getting turned away. He visited with a priest who has always supported his hope to be a priest. When people call him for counsel, or seek him out for advice, or remind him of their support, the wound of the seminary never goes away. But maybe it isn’t supposed to. God keeps speaking to his heart. He keeps listening with his.
He left us after serving as one of the best men for his brother’s wedding. He not only stood beside him, he served on the altar and he gave a best man’s speech that turned out to be a gift in itself. Many people said it was the best speech they had ever heard from a best man. I just say it was an amazing gift from the matchmaker. That is enough said.
He left us after laughing in our family room. Oh…there were the Christmas morning tears…but mostly there was laughter. From Family Guy shows to games with Finnegan to joking with Steve and Meica…there was laughter.
He left us with special family memories. From Steve and Meica to Juergen and Hanni to auntie Carol and uncle Paul. To Uncle David’s talk on Christmas...to Aunt “B” an Aunt Marsha who ask for extra time with Tim including this week so they could drop off money for him to take back. Such a generous gift to one of their favorite “charities”. God always gives you want you need. And it’s not about the generous gift of money…it’s about the gift of people who wanted to do that most.
He left us with a new laptop for his teaching at the seminary. He was going to wait until he got back to China but Adam wanted to buy some programs to help his teaching so he has a new laptop to play with on that long flight and an early birthday gift from a little brother who has found a best friend in Tim. Speaking of new…his new “sister” and his older brother, gave him a birthday card too with a “gift” tucked inside for him to buy even more Chinese programs for his new laptop or something just for him.
He left us as he always leaves us with a new appreciation for all we have in this country…in this home. We have food and TV and cable and movies and family and warmth. We get to control our own thermostat and our blogs and our fb pages. As he returns “home” to China he goes back to no TV, no cable, no sports on TV, no movie theaters (the Chinese is too fast for him to understand) and no control over the warmth of your apt or the use of fb. And…he returns to a communist country and he has 24 hours to report to a police station to say he has returned, to show his passport and his plane tickets to prove where he has been. It still seems unreal to me.,,and sad.
He left us today with a realization of all he does have in China. He has all that Maryknoll so generously gives him. He has the opportunity Fr. Brian has blessed him with. And he has the knowledge that as much as he needs China; China needs his knowledge…and his wisdom…and his faith. His mission.
He left us with a special baggie full of cards tucked in his bag. One for each month that he is gone. It’s hard to send mail to a communist country and trust that it will get through so you send it special delivery in a suitcase. It’s harder to write a Valentine Card, St. Patick’s Day card, an Easter Card and a birthday card and know you won’t be there when he opens them.
He left us after sitting next to us in that pew in church. I love sitting next to Tim in church. I love how he can answer my questions about a Bible reading, I love to watch him pray so intensely after communion and I love how we hold hands during the “Our Father”. Tomorrow I will go to church and wish it was a week ago.
But I will always wish it was a week ago. I don’t like January 12. January 5 seems better. December 21 even more so. But it is not my call. It is God’s call. And God’s call was for him to leave today. And it was God’s call for us to be left with so many special memories of an incredible wedding, a heartfelt Christmas, a CF check up full of hope, a kitchen full of food and family room full of laughter, conversation and sleeping with a book on your lap. A family room full of family.
As he left for the airport today he left even more. He left each of us a card with a special note. The cards are hard to read but the hardest part is coming home. Long after we leave the airport and he is in the air we come home to gifts left on our pillows: a birthday present for Adam, a Father’s Day gift for Pat and a Mother’s Day gift for me. I wish he would be here in March and May and June when we open them. But he won’t be. I wish it was July and he was home again. But it isn’t July. Today is January 12. And..today, he left.
Vaya con, Dios, Timothy. Go with God…and God with you. (Counting the sleeps until July.)