Oh I know..I know...that when you "purchase" these stars for a loved one or for a special celebration that you are not the only one who buys it. I know it's a marketing ploy. I was even brutally reminded of it when someone told me "I always wondered what idiot would buy these stars." I am that idiot. But I am an educated idiot. I know that 600 other people have bought that same star near Orion's belt thinking they were the only one who bought it. I know the "official" certificate I received when I purchased the star for Andy was also officially received by many others who purchased the same damn star. I know when I named this star just for Andy...that it probably wasn't "just" for Andy. This idiot gets it.
But this is what I also get. I get that when Andy died 3 years ago I started running again to spend some time with him. I get that when I see that star on my morning runs I feel connected to that "more-than-just-a-nephew" nephew. I get that when I see that star it helps remind me of what is important in life and the worries I had at the beginning of my run are back burner-ed by the end of the run...because of Andy's star. I get that for days...for weeks...I don't see the star and then it unexpectedly appears on the days when I seem to need it most. I get that I am not the only one who bought that star and I get that it is not the only star in the sky...but on some mornings it feels like it is. It's the only one.
One of the most comforting quotes I have found is one I revised from an Eskimo legend. It says: "Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings of heaven where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy, at peace and watching over us...always." I like to think because of this star Andy is peeking down on my morning run. I like to think that through this star he watches over us. I like to think the comfort this star brings me was worth the money any idiot would pay. I like to think that when I see this star I am connected to him again...still. And I like to think that whoever else's name may be on this star that at 5 a.m. on a morning run Andy's is the only one.