Sheila Sims Iding
As a final reflection on what has become known as “the wedding weekend”, I have a collection of thoughts on the good (the things that warmed my heart and made me smile); the bad (the things I regret or wish were different) and the beautiful (the moments that were so beautiful, they made me cry.)
I know there have been MANY pictures posted. I know there have been four blogs already entered. I know many of you may be a bit overwhelmed by the over abundance of pictures, posts, words and thoughts but as a closing I give you a quiet reflection on the good, the bad and the beautiful of Joey and Addie’s wedding weekend:
~The Good~ The things that make you smile just by the sheer thought of them…the sheer remembrance of it all.
Airports….waiting in airports for family as they gather from all corners of the world including China, Germany and Minnesota. There is some thing excitedly anticipatory about waiting for a face to come through those doors at an airport. Even more exciting to wait for one of those hugs.
Family – when all your family gathers it’s usually for two reasons. There are usually only two things that cause family to drop all their busy plans and gather. ALL of you-all together. It’s usually for a funeral or for a wedding. As friends of mine actually had to gather for funerals this Christmas break; I was mindful, grateful and prayerful that my family got to gather for a wedding. Lots of homecomings. Lots of family. Lots of reunion hugs.
Rehearsal dinner – The rehearsal dinner was at the Country Club of Lansing and Pat and I are not “country club” people. I am actually like a fish out of water there…or so I thought. All the years we went there when Pat’s parents were members I never felt at home there. But, after all those years, after all those parties, after all the pictures in front of that Christmas tree and that fireplace…it felt like coming home. The memories came flooding back and brought comfort to the new memories being made.
Roma Bakery – Roma Bakery did the rehearsal dinner desserts. The cakes, mini cupcakes and cookies were delicious and beautiful! Thanks Roma Bakery!
Pat’s rehearsal dinner speech – it was from the heart. Enough said.
The Powerpoint at Rehearsal dinner – Matching up the moments of Addie and Joey’s lives. From birth to soccer to first communions to college graduations…their lives were intertwined before they even knew.
Snow – we had snow! I knew my mom wouldn’t let me down. She even sent snow right after the ceremony for perfect wedding pictures. Thanks, mom!
Fr. John – At first he wasn’t going to be able to concelebrate with Fr. Brian. He had another wedding at the same time. But we got a call in October telling us that other wedding had been “delayed” and he could be there. Little did he know that phone call was an answer to some prayers.
Joey’s “Something blue”. Joey had it all…just like a bride would. Something old (Grandpa Joe’s cufflinks from Auntie Carol); something new (a Maple leaf coin from his Aunt Suzy); something borrowed (Pat’s St. Patrick’s rosary) and something blue (and orange…his Detroit Tiger argyle socks). It is so Joey to be all dressed up in a fancy tux and wear goofy socks. You gotta love it.
Friends – Joey’s friends. How they came from all over. The whole group from New York City, the ones from Pennsylvania, the Vardar soccer champions, the coaches, the friends from high school and grade school, and the one who has been his friend since birth. And Juergen and Hanni and Finnegan…all the way from Germany to watch their friend be married and let Joey’s godson be part of it all.
The kids – 9 kids took part in the ceremony. Nine! What a thrill for them. What a testimony to Joey and Addie.
Receiving Line – Now I know many of you don’t like receiving lines. Maybe I didn’t either. But what an amazing opportunity to meet, greet, hug and hold so many people who shared in this day. An endless stream of hugs and smiles and wishes and blessings. What’s not to like?
Kellogg Center – it looked absolutely wonderful and those gold chairs that Addie thought she had to have? If chairs can make a difference in an atmosphere…they did. The newly remodeled room, the lighting, the cake, the food, the drinks and those chairs…incredible!
Calla lily bouquet – instead of a corsage, Addie and Joey had the moms carry three calla lilies wrapped in a beautiful ivory ribbon. I still have mine. They are so beautiful. I may just keep them forever.
~The Bad ~ What could be bad about a magical weekend? (Addie’s mom called it magical and I liked the sound of it.). Even with magic there are things you regret, things you wish were different and things that didn’t quite go right. Every wedding has a glitch or two…this one did too.
Joey’s boutonnière – This was the glitch and aren’t we glad this was the only one? It’s not that there was anything wrong with it…it’s that there wasn’t “it”. His boutonniere was never there. So he got one of the groomsmen’s flowers and one of the groomsmen got a flowere borrowed from some one else…some thing else. It all worked out fine. As most glitches do.
The failed promises – A year ago, after the engagement, I promised myself 3 things: to lose 50 pounds, to learn how to walk in high heels, to learn to drink red wine and like it. I failed on all three. I lost 12 pounds (not even close but Jillian and my mile run and me all tried). The high heel promise was over before it started. I tried…twice. It wasn’t pretty. The red wine didn’t work either. My face was more red than the wine. Give me the sweet, sweet white moscato and call it good…even in flat shoes and a bit chubby.
The hair-do – Now I know this wedding isn’t about me..with diets, and high heels and wine…and hair dos but my hair do was a mess. I even did a practice one. It was cute. A “messy bun” with fun hair hanging down and some “messy” bangs. Loved the practice do. Why she decided to do a “perfect” old lady bun that kept falling out…I will never know. It was too late to have her redo the do. I hated it…I hated that my bangs looked like Alfalfa but I loved that I knew the day wasn’t about the do.
The Delayed flights – Tim’s flight was over 4 hours late and it didn’t matter. It was the day we had just gotten out of school and the Christmas/wedding focus was on. For 4 hours I sat in that airport high on excitement of Christmas coming, a wedding happening and a hug walking through that door.
Juergen and Hanni’s delay was very troublesome. Their flight wasn’t delayed but because of the ONE snow storm we had this year, our trip to pick them up was not only delayed…it was canceled. We couldn’t get to Detroit. Joey even tried to get there from Grand Rapids…no luck. So somehow we had to let these international travelers know we would not be there to greet them. Thank you skype phone calls. Thank you Michigan Flyer bus. Thank you Schmieders for being flexible…and safe.
Dancing – I was going to dance the night away at the reception. I had a plan. I wasn’t going to eat dinner. I was going to spend that time going from table to table so I could dance the rest of the time. I danced TWICE! And when the DJ announced “last call” I said “NO!”. I hadn’t danced the night away. And…I never got to all the tables. My biggest regret of the night. I never got to all the tables to visit with people….with family…with friends.
Hellos – I never went to the bride’s room to see Addie before the wedding. Was I supposed to? I planned on it. I knew what I was going to say. I was going to hug her and her parents but with the boutonnière mix up, time got away. I never got there. I regret that.
Goodbyes- They are never good. They are bad. They hurt and they are difficult to do and difficult to watch. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. I don’t do good-byes. I am horrible at good-byes.
~The Beautiful ~ The moments that move you. The moments that make you gasp. The moments where you grab a hand, or a hug or a Kleenex.
"The" boutonniere - NO...not the one that was lost but the first one of the wedding. Joey picked up a boutonniere before the wedding. He picked it up on Friday. It was a groomsmen boutonniere. He had to pick it up early to make a special delivery. He took it to Andy at the cemetery. Andy would have been a groomsmen. Andy should have been a groomsmen. In my perfect world Andy would have stood beside him that day. Joey knew that. So he took the boutonniere to the cemetery and had a beer with Andy while he was there. There was a little tag attached to the flower that said 'groomsmen". He tucked the tag in his pocket and left the flower for Andy. It was a beautiful act of love between cousins who are like brothers...still.
Godfathers, Godsons – Fr. Brian is Joey’s godfather. He was with Pat the day Joey was diagnosed with CF (isn’t God clever?) and he was there to walk Joey down the aisle to meet his bride. He has always been there for Joey…even half way around the world. And…all three of Joey’s Godsons were at the wedding. Jackson, Finnegan and Bo were all there for him…with him. Proof again that Godfathers and Godsons have a special bond.
Godmothers, Goddaughters, Godsons – Nieces and nephews are special and I LOVED catching up with them but godparents have a special bond with Godchildren and this wedding weekend I got to laugh and dance and hug my Godson, Mikes. He has no idea how much I miss him. (and he owes me a coffee) And I got to hug and hold my Goddaughter, Lindsay. I have waited a long time to hug her. I didn’t want to let her go.
A Special Cross – I have this Tiffany cross that I love. It’s just a little silver one but I love it and I love to give it as a gift. I have given it to family and friends through the years. I tell them that it connects us since we have the same cross. So, last year, after the engagement I couldn’t wait to give one to Addie. I just never thought she would wear it for her wedding day. Her wedding gown called for a pearl or a diamond or something special…the fact that she thought “the” cross was the something special, meant the world to me. Addie means the world to me.
Moved to Tears – Joey cried. When he saw his bride come into the church he cried. When everyone stood up, he lost sight of her and tried to compose himself. To no avail. The moment he saw her again, he cried. And she was all smiles…until…she saw him. When her eyes met his, she cried too. When emotions move you to tears…it’s a good thing. Addie and Joey are a good thing.
Moved to Smiles - I got see my sister, Sharon and David smile again. Lots of smiles. Even some laughs. That moved my heart to smile.
The New Yorker – Juergen and Hanni gave them the best wedding gift ever. The New Yorker magazine written all about them. All the articles, the words, the pictures…even the ads featured Joey and Addie. I cried about the gift before I even saw it because so much work, effort, talent and love went into this gift. I can’t imagine how much 120 copies cost to make. I just know it was priceless.
Best Men – Adam and Tim were both nervous about their speeches. Even before they wrote them. Months of worry and a lifetime of memories went into their words. Adam wrote about his idol and hero…Joey…and the blessing of having another Addie (Addy) Iding in our family. Tim wrote about how the love they show others teaches us to love others. I love that they both took different angles. I loved that they spoke from their hearts and I love that it was plural from the beginning. Joey was always going to have best MEN.
The Best Family – If you could marry a family, I would marry the Finellis. Her brothers gave an amazing presentation at the reception and all of her family opened their hearts not only to Joey…but to us.
Mother/Son Dance – The song Through the Years says it all. It came out the month my dad died. I would hear it and sob. And my sister-in-law Carol told me I was lucky that a love song reminded me of my dad. It was an honor. So as the years went on, every time I heard the song, I would cry. Joey was about 3 years old when the song came on the radio and he announced it was the “crying song”. The lyrics were so true of my dad and me but “through the years” the tables turned it became a litany of my life with Joey. “Through the years…when everything went wrong…together we were strong…” So we danced at his wedding to “the song” and…he had the words embroidered on a handkerchief as a gift to me. The song, the dance, the gift were a special moment celebrating all we have done “through the years.”
Love Notes – Like all moms I leave love notes for my kids. Love notes in lunch boxes, soccer bags, hockey skates, books and pockets. Surprise love notes for them to find later. Every time they leave home I tuck 4 love notes somewhere in their suitcases to find later. So for the wedding I left Joey a surprise love note by the unity candle. I saw his smile and I knew he found it. Then as he and Addie left for their honeymoon, Joey left love notes for us. One tucked in Meica’s pocket. One under each of our pillows. I don’t know what Adam and Tim’s said but on our love note Joey wrote: Thank you for making our day so special…” No…Joey and Addie…thank YOU. Thank YOU for the special memories of this magical wedding weekend. Thank YOU for the good, the bad and the beautiful.