Sheila Sims Iding
Elaine Iding. Pat’s mother. My mother-in-law. The first “Mrs. Iding” I knew. Today is the 13th anniversary of her going home to heaven. And as I am in the process of redecorating I took down the picture she painted for me. Well…the masterpiece she painted. It has hung on the living room wall for years. Probably 20 years. It has hung there since that first day she delivered it to me as a surprise birthday present. Imagine my surprise to receive one of her paintings.
It is a picture of Joey holding one of our Siamese cats and she entitled it “Joey At Two”. He never posed for the picture…nor did the cat. She took the painting from a picture, from her mind and from her immense talent. As I was carefully…so very carefully…dusting it off today I noticed each brush stroke. I notice all the different shades of white on his sailor suit (Who knew there were so many different shades?. I noticed the different colors she used in Joey’s hair. I noticed the detail of the cat’s face. Mostly, for the first time I really, REALLY noticed the talent in each brush stroke. And…maybe for the first time…I noticed the love in each one.
There was a day…many days…I didn’t think she loved me. When Pat told her we were engaged she asked him to look around some more. (There’s a clue.) When we told her I was pregnant with our first child she said “Oh great. Another grandkid to sew for.” So the warm and fuzzy “I love you” feeling wasn’t always there.
But I could look past that because every Sunday when Pat and I were dating she would invite me over for Sunday dinner. EVERY Sunday. And her Sunday dinners were SUNDAY dinners. Lamb or prime rib with homemade everything…potatoes, veggies, rolls and dessert. There was a lot of love tucked into that meal. Even more love tucked into that invitation.
Elaine Iding was a brilliant woman. She not only painted…she created beautiful oil paintings as gifts for family. She not only sewed her own clothes, she made her own patterns. She made her own patterns. Who does that?? She had a few extra dollars so she studied the stock market and then invested her few extra dollars and made a lot of money on her sheer business sense alone…as a hobby.
I will always wonder if this brilliant woman was born a generation too early. She was meant to be a career woman. She had so much talent and so much wisdom that it was stifled by a generation of homemakers. Not that there is anything wrong with homemakers. It’s a noble profession on its own. I know. It was my “job” for many years. I took pride in that. Still do. But what if Elaine Iding was of the generation where most women went to college, or art school, or a fashion institute in NYC or attained an MBA from U of M? I will always wonder.
And there was a day when I wondered if she loved me. I was used to a dad who hugged me everyday. So when I met Pat I thought I had met a “mom” who would invite me to lunch, teach me how to cook and take me shopping. Not so much.
Elaine Iding was not warm and fuzzy…but she never pretended to be. She wasn’t particularly nurturing but she was extremely caring in her own way. I knew her almost 25 years and she taught me about strength in faith (she went to mass every morning). She taught me about generosity in sharing her time, talent and treasures with others. And 13 years ago today she taught me how to die using a sure faith and amazing grace. And while I came to appreciate this incredible woman and her talents and her subtle love, I was reminded today as I carefully cared for the painting she gave me. And as I studied each brush stroke I knew this was more than a painting it was a beautiful gift and proof that…she loved me.
Happy Heaven Birthday, "Mom". I hope the angels love the gowns you make. I hope the saints are awed with your heavenly paintings. I hope Mary praises the mother you were. I hope Jesus was honored by your faith. And I hope you know...today I noticed the love you tucked in each brush stroke. Miss you lots. Love you more.