Sheila Sims Iding
(This is a Lenten life project for me. Trying to sort through things in my life and make them better. Truth is...broken things or fixed things...my life is VERY blessed. And that is a special thing to realize during Lent...and always. I am blessed.)
I am fixer. I’m guessing you are too. Most people are. You see something broken. You fix it. I think it’s human nature to “fix” things and make them right again. It’s who we are. It’s what we do. If something is broken in our life we set out to fix it.
If there is a diagnosis that causes concern (even if it’s minor) you search for doctors, medicine, treatment and ways to fix it.
If that diagnosis involves a family member you don’t just want to fix it. You are desperate to.
If you are a teacher and a student struggles, you lesson plan, evaluate, conference and re-evaluate to try and fix it.
If your child is struggling you do what all moms do…you pray and pray some more. You can’t, and won’t, fix it but you at least help him cope.
If a family member is hurting and withdrawing, you seek them out and seek them out and seek them out to try and fix it.
If the ties that bind special friendships get broken, you talk, you email, you dinner. You look for ways to re-tie that special bond. Ways to fix it.
You work to fix things and they get better. They are not broken anymore. They are fixed. The time and treatment help the medical issue. The student begins to excel. Your child isn’t hurting. The family member reunites. The friends return and so does the laughter. Misunderstandings resolve and you can see clearly now. Literally and figuratively. It is all better. It is fixed…except when it’s not. Because sometimes it isn’t.
Sometimes the treatments don’t work…yet. Sometimes the student doesn’t respond as you had hoped. Sometimes loneliness, sadness and misunderstandings affect your child, your family, your friends. And sometimes you can’t fix it. Even worse…sometimes the more you try to fix it, the worse you make it.
So you seek the counsel of someone wiser than you and you explain all that you have done to desperately fix things. And this wise, faith-filled person gives you advice on how to make it better. Finally…wise words will make it better. Finally…after sleepless nights, self-doubt, and prayers…you have your answer. The wise words…the comforting advice…the fix it plan:
…let it be broken.
Really? Let it be broken? But I am a fixer. I want to see it all more clearly; I want to help the student and the child. I want to embrace family and friends again. I want to fix it.
And that is when they help you realize that sometimes the first step in fixing things is realizing you can’t. Sometimes the “fixing” is allowing it to be broken. Let it hurt. Let it worry. Let it go. Let. It. Be. Broken.