Sheila Sims Iding
I never had a role model for a mother. My mom was so sick with multiple sclerosis, she couldn’t teach me how to be a mom. She taught me some special life lessons on being a fighter but not so much maternal lessons. I was raised by my dad who was the most amazing father. He taught me how to bunt (3 different ways), rotate tires and took me pheasant hunting. He was a great role model as a parent but I was still lacking on the mothering skills.
So when they placed Joey’s tiny newborn body in my arms, he became my first teacher on motherhood. He probably didn’t know it those first few minutes…or even that first year…but his lessons would be powerful and life changing. Thank you, Jacques, for all you have taught me.
You taught me that life begins before birth because I was in love with you before you were born.
You taught me once you have a baby you do things differently. You drive more carefully, sleep less soundly and double check everything…from bottle temperatures to seat belt hookups to the latch on the crib rail.
You taught me how special it is that you got Papa’s green eyes, his compassion, his sentimentality and his strong Canadian blood. O maple leaf. O Canada!
You taught me that intense determination in innate. And that when you are only two years old and want to climb a tree and your mom says you’re too little…you climb on top of the Cozy Coupe car and get in the tree just to prove her wrong.
And when you are three years old and think you can ride a bike without training wheels, and your mom says you are too little…you pick up the bike and take off just to prove her wrong again.
And when you are 6 years old and take off down the block running away from a good scolding…you taught me that it is humbling for a mom to try and catch you.
You taught me kids can have manners and respect and they can say please and thank you without reminders. And, without being told, they can say “I’m sorry”…and mean it.”
You taught me that grown ups are wrong when they say boys will out grow hugs and saying “I love you.” Even in those teenage years you never lost your hugs or “I love you’s. I have a feeling you never will.
You taught me how a pet can steal a child’s heart and how that child’s heart can break when that pet is sick or dying.
You taught me that mullets are cute for 2nd grade pictures but you probably shouldn’t dye your hair with the soccer team for the Vardar championship game a month before senior pictures.
You taught me the letters CF don’t stand for cystic fibrosis…they stand for continuous fighter. You taught me that you would be the greatest enemy CF has ever known...especially when you run a marathon. You taught me that God’s will is stronger than a doctor’s prognosis. Thank you for proving the doctors wrong…and God right.
And you taught me that the best heart to heart talks between a mother and son happen within the walls of a hospital room. So do the best heart to heart prayers.
You taught me that laugher is the best medicine and that of all the accolades you received in high school sports and academics, the one I cherish the most is when you were voted “Class Clown”.
You taught me that a little boy who grew up in a Spartan bedroom and bled green, could become a proud Michigan Wolverine. Turns out that green blood was a mixture of maize and blue all along. Hail, to the Victors.
You taught me what I already knew about sports…that attitude is more than skill. But what I learned from you is when you have an intensely determined attitude and God-given natural ability…it’s a powerful combination.
You taught me true sportsmanship from watching you when you would help up an opposing player; when you would turn to your goalie and say “my fault” and when you would captained a team to a come back victory just because of your sheer refusal to quit.
You taught me that when you get your first tattoo in college that it’s okay to have your mom and your godfather go with you. A mom, a priest and a college kid celebrating carpe momentum.
Seize the moment indeed.
You taught how hard it is to drop off a son at a rundown YMCA in Brooklyn and you helped me learn that New York City is the most amazing place in the world but the mitten calls you home.
You taught me that family becomes your village and that aunties can be your best friends…still. That family in Minnesota is close even though they are far away and that a godfather’s prayers make a difference…even half way around the world.
You taught me that cousins can be best friends and when one of them goes home to heaven that you will stay connected forever by a hockey lace bracelet, maple leafbouquets and the special delivery today of a groomsmen’s boutonniere.
You taught me that little brothers can be teachers too. Tim’s strong faith has nurtured the strength you find in your faith and Adam’s lessons on perseverance have helped inspire your “no quit” attitude.
You taught me that teammates become some of your best friends and if you are lucky, they stand beside you on the day you marry your life teammate and your forever best friend. And…if you are really lucky…they ask you to be the godfather of their first-born son…half way around the world.
You taught me that God has a sense of humor. After all the big brother stuffed you pulled on Tim and Adam, you now are the little “Finelli” brother. You don’t have just one big brother to pick on you…you now have three. Isn’t God clever?
You taught me to never give up on love because tomorrow you will marry the love of your life. If I could have gone shopping for a wife for you, I would have picked a first grade teacher who loved family as much as she loved life and who didn’t care about CF or job situations or obnoxious behaviors she loves you not in spite of it all but because of it all.
There was a day when your father and I didn’t even dream this would be possible. We didn’t dream of tonight or a family as wonderful as the Finellis or a girl as incredible as Addie or a wedding tomorrow. We didn’t even dare to dream about tomorrows…any tomorrows. But you continue to teach amazing life lessons. And especially because of tonight and because of Addie and her amazing family…you have taught me to believe in tomorrow…forever.