What I wasn't prepared for was those three words. We were texting back and forth. At the gate. Flight ontime. Still ontime. Boarding soon. Boarding. Then the sentamentalities back and forth...back and forth...back and forth. (You get the idea). The assurance of prayers, the bestowing of support, the messages of love and care and blessings. Then the three words that caught me off guard because they meant the end of Tim's phone and that phone number he had for years...the familiarity and comfort of that phone number he had for years. It meant the end of voice mails (thank God I saved some). It meant the end of texting with Tim for probably 5 years or more. Those three words cemented the long, difficult goodbye of the long, difficult day. Those three words caught me a bit off guard on a day when I was highly on guard. Those three words still bring some tears, some dread at seeing them and some sadness in the helplessness and disconnect of them. Those three words he texted: "Turning phone off."
Saying goodbye to Tim was difficult yesterday. It was more than difficult. But I will spare you all the drama of that as you have already sifted through my goodbye heartache in previous posts. However, one of the things that caught me off guard yesterday was the texting part. I knew Tim would not be texting me once he moved to China. I knew yesterday was his last day with his phone service here. He just kept it one more day so he could let us know when he was at the gate and had boarded the plane. I knew I had gotten too used to the comfort of texting him. Texts about being back at the apartment safe. Texts about how appointments went. Texts about trains that were late. Texts about letters that came (or didn't come) in the mail. Texts about soccer games and Saint football games and Spartan games. Texts to quickly answer a burning religion question I may have (what ARE the 7 sorrows of Mary?) And the texts that mean the most...that text at 11:30 late at night just saying "g'nite...love you." I think those are the ones I will miss the most. Sometimes I never really read them. I would just be almost asleep and hear the "bling" and know it was a g'nite text from Tim. I knew I would miss the texts.
What I wasn't prepared for was those three words. We were texting back and forth. At the gate. Flight ontime. Still ontime. Boarding soon. Boarding. Then the sentamentalities back and forth...back and forth...back and forth. (You get the idea). The assurance of prayers, the bestowing of support, the messages of love and care and blessings. Then the three words that caught me off guard because they meant the end of Tim's phone and that phone number he had for years...the familiarity and comfort of that phone number he had for years. It meant the end of voice mails (thank God I saved some). It meant the end of texting with Tim for probably 5 years or more. Those three words cemented the long, difficult goodbye of the long, difficult day. Those three words caught me a bit off guard on a day when I was highly on guard. Those three words still bring some tears, some dread at seeing them and some sadness in the helplessness and disconnect of them. Those three words he texted: "Turning phone off."
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AuthorSheila Sims Iding Archives
February 2018
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