Sheila Sims Iding
Yesterday was Joey’s birthday and like every mother before me, I will never forget that feeling when they place your newborn baby in your arms for the first time. Or you embrace that adopted baby for the first time. The first time you hold your baby is a moment you never, ever forget.
I remember holding Joey (not Sarah MaryJane – I thought HE was going to be a girl) and the wondering started immediately. Because my mom was sick, I never really had a role model as a true mom. I never really knew exactly what to do. Oh my dad taught me a lot about parenting and loving a child. But the mothering part was foreign to me. All of a sudden I felt clueless. I knew that little brand new baby boy would have to be my teacher.
A few years back when the song “I Hope You Dance” came out, I made a photo story for each of my boys. Now this was before Snapfish or Shutterfly and they are a homemade/scrapbook-type book filled with pictures of them growing up to the lyrics of the song “I Hope You Dance”. I sometimes give them a gift on Mother’s Day because they are the ones who taught me how to be a mom. I gave them each their book on Mother’s Day 2001. Yesterday on Joey’s birthday, I was reminded of the letter I wrote in the front of each book. In honor of Joey’s birthday…the birthday of me being a mom…I wanted to share the letter with you:
My Dear Joseph Jacques, Mother’s Day ~ 2001
My Dear Timothy Patrick,
My Dear Adam Thomas,
The first time a newborn baby is placed in his mother’s arms, she has such high hopes for him. The first time I saw your precious face such hope filled my heart ~
I hoped you would have at least a hint of your Papa’s green eyes.
I hoped that when you were learning to walk you’d pick yourself up each time you fell…knowing I was standing beside you in case you needed me.
I hoped you would remember to always say “please” and “thank you”.
I hoped you would say “I’m sorry”….and mean it.
I hoped you would learn how to love a pet and then learn how hard it is to let them go.
I hoped you would let God’s love guide you and strengthen you.
I hoped you would learn about the power of prayer and the power of faith.
I hoped you would respect older people, poorer people, weaker people.
I hoped when everyone said you would outgrow hugs and saying “I love you” that you would prove them wrong.
I hoped that if you were born with the challenge of cystic fibrosis, or autism, or learning that you would carry your cross with such courage and determination that you would be a source of pride and inspiration to all of us honored to watch.
I hoped that when you competed in sports and in the game of life you would realize that a positive attitude and hard work are your greatest talents.
I hoped you would be proud and unbending in honest defeat and humble and gentle in victory.
I hoped you would be brave enough to dream big dreams with confidence to defy the odds.
I hoped you would never be ashamed to cry real tears…happy or sad.
I hoped that you would be quick to share your smile and never stifle laughter.
I hoped you would recognize that family and friends are earth angels sent by God.
I hoped you would realize that God gave you a dad who gives you unending efforts, unending friendship and unending love.
Never having a mother for a role model, I wasn’t sure how to be a mother. So when they placed your tiny newborn body in my arms, I took my lessons from you. You are a great teacher because your young life has surpassed all of my deepest hopes. As you turn the pages of this book and listen to the words of this song and sift through the contents of my heart…
I hope you know how very much you are loved.
Forever love,
mom