Sheila Sims Iding
I think we’ve all said it at one time or another. We’ve probably all said it more than once. “What did we do before cell phones?” We are never stranded or alone or waiting for someone without knowing or wondering about things because of cell phones. Cell phones give us constant connection to those we love. They give a constant reminder that I am here for you...
unless you are in China
Now I rarely…and I mean rarely…call Joey or Addie or Adam. Truly I don’t. But we are in contact almost every day by texting on our cell phones. Not the nagging text but the gentle reminders and questions: how’s your cough today?, good luck at conferences, hope your presentation goes well, do you need anything at the store? and how about those Spartans? I just made plans to meet for Sunday dinner with Joey and Addie via texting. Texting on our cell phones connects family easily, quickly and provides a worry free comfort that I am here for you…unless you are in China.
I cannot call Tim easily. I cannot text him at all. Cell phones do not provide an easy connection half way around the world. In fact there is a big disconnection…except for skype. Through the miracle of skype I can still give some sense that I am here for you.
This weekend when Tim got sick skype became a little more important than when I just need to hear his voice or see that smile or catch up on happenings in China. This weekend Tim got really sick with an infection that caused uncontrollable vomiting and an elevated white blood cell count. He was so sick and dehydrated and weak, he could barely move…let alone walk.
Fr. Brian’s assistant, Wang Wei, got Tim and took him to the hospital where he got the IV’s, medicines and antibiotics he needed to start to heal. Tim got a ride to the hospital and I got a email from Brian telling us of Tim’s illness.
That is where you wish for a voice at the other end of the cell phone or a text that says “don’t worry”. That is when China feels so much farther away than usual...especially when measured by a mother's heart. That is when you remember skype. I can’t use my cell phone to call that emergency room in China but I can use my skype. My skype account has money in it just for such an emergency. And with the click of the cursor on Wang Wei’s name, I hear the comfort of a ring and the consolation of her voice from an emergency room half way around the world. And then she lets me talk with Tim. And that is when the relief consumes your worry and you know he is all right. It’s the miracle of a skype call.
The skyping miracles continue because Tim is basically alone in China. Which on a normal day just means more time to study and pray and work and just means more loneliness. When you are sick and alone it becomes more tricky…from the patient’s perspective and from a mother’s heart. So when Tim got back to his apartment (4 IV bags and one injection later), he could skype and I could see his face and his smile and the strength slowly returning. He was alone in his apartment but with skyping I could say “I am here for you.” And mean it…sort of.
He was too weak to shower and too weak to go get food. But he needed a shower and he needed to try and eat so skype allowed me to be there with him so if the weakness overtook him again, someone would know. He wouldn’t be alone in his weakness. He skyped when he was ready to take his shower and I watched the clock carefully until he skyped that he was done. In a way I was there for him.
Same for his food. He still was not 100% and to venture outside in the freezing cold temperatures (20 below zero) with a fever and a weakened condition just back from the hospital hours ago, he was a little nervous about going to get food. I don’t blame him. If I was there I would have gone and gotten it for him and brought him some crackers and juice and surprised him with fruit loops. I would have been there for him. But I wasn’t there in person…I was there in skype.
So when he felt stronger and braver he let me know on skype that he was heading out for food and he would skype when he was back. That clock moved a bit slower than the shower clock. The international store that had cereal was farther away than the little market across the street. When he finally got back, he had 3 boxes of cereal and a bout of exhaustion. And I had a skype call and he knew I was there for him.
His return trip to the hospital was schedule for early afternoon his time and middle of the night our time…but through skype I could be there for him. Wang Wei was kind enough to meet him at the hospital for translation purposes. Tim’s Chinese is good but it’s not medical term good. Heck…my English is barely medical term good here so Wang Wei does the hospital visits with him to make sure they understand Tim’s complicated medical history and his drug allergies. (Thank God for Wang Wei!)
Still I waited up to see how the IV therapy went and to make sure he got back to his apartment strong and safe. Hearing that distinct ring of a skype call in the middle of the night made the whole night feel strong and safe.
This morning for us (and night for him) he got to skype with my sister (his Godmother) and I got to be connected to him as I was at school or at the store because of skype on my phone.
I will always wonder what we did in this world before cell phones. And now I wonder what I did without skype. Every night I leave my computer by my bed signed on to skype so if Tim needs anything he can call through skype I can be there for him. My phone is by my bed if any family or friend needs to call in the middle of the night and skype is there if tim needs to call. Most nights it just routine to put lap top by my bed and turn up the volume…just in case of a skype call. It’s routine and it’s comfort and it’s a sign that says I am here for you if you need anything.
This weekend skype became more than routine. Because of skype I got to be in the hospital room. I got to be at his apartment. I got to keep watch of that trek to the grocery store. Because of skype I got to hear his voice that was getting stronger and see his smile that made me stronger. When he goes back to the hospital today for his last IV treatments, I will wait up with skype on and I will be there for him. When he gets the test results of his white blood count, I will be there for him. When he gets back to his apartment he won’t be alone because of skype I will be there for him.
I know Tim is 30 years old and he is very capable of taking care of himself… even half way around the world But I would want to be there for Pat and he is 57 years old. If Pat got this sick there would be phone calls and text messages and reassurance until I could be there with him. When Tim got this sick this weekend there was no cell phone call or text messages but there was skype again and again and again. And because of skype I could say I am “here for you”. I AM here for you.