Sheila Sims Iding
When you sit across the desk from a doctor and he tells you your son has cystic fibrosis, your heart starts to crumble. When he tells you his life expectancy is only 15 years, your life crumbles. You are holding this little guy but you can’t make sense of any of the words..it is too surreal…too painful…too much.
So you do what every CF mom has done before you…you let the words sink in…you let your heart break…you let your life be devastated. You cry. You sob. You hold on to him tighter than ever. You pray. You pray. You pray.
You run out of prayers and then your silence becomes it’s own special prayer.
God knows…Mary reminds Him. She knows how a mother’s heart can crumble. She knows how a mother’s life can be broken. And…you know She knows.
Then you do what moms in those situations do…you suck it up. You learn about medicines and treatments and diagnosis and prognosis. You learn about specialists, special tests and special appointments. You learn to find “hope” in the word “incurable”. You learn to find “life” in the word “terminal”. You learn that the letters CF behind his name at every appointment will not stand for cystic fibrosis. The letters CF will stand for continuous fighter. And you learn if your child is in for the fight of his life, you will be his coach and manage his game plan. A plan for victory…not defeat.
And then come the small victories and the bigger losses. There are good check ups and then there are hospitalizations. There are stretches of “healthy” times and more hospitalizations right after hospitalizations. There is weight loss and weight recovered. There are tough surgeries and even tougher recoveries. There is extreme weakness of body and more extreme strength of heart. There are 40 pills, 4 hours of treatments and forced feedings….just in one day. There are more medicines, treatments and lab tests in one week, than a kid should have to endure in a lifetime. There are the letters CF everywhere. Every medical slip, lab report, doctor’s notes and hospital bracelet. But the CF isn’t for cystic fibrosis…it’s for continuous fighter.
So he fights and you are honored to watch. More than honored…you are inspired. Kids are amazing. Sick kids…even more so. So for years you watch and coach and cry…and pray. (Not necessarily in that order.) He grows and fights and fights and grows and fights. He plays sports with fevers, goes to school with gunky lungs and sings in the choir with IV ports still in his body. And he runs and he runs and he runs. And he dreams and he dreams and he dreams. And he fights. Continuously.
He dreams of being a priest but they are afraid that with cystic fibrosis he may be “high risk”. So he tries to prove he is “healthy”. He tries again to prove he is worthy. He tries even harder to prove he was called by God. But they don’t see the continuous fighter of CF…they see cystic fibrosis. So God calls even louder for him to come to China to do missionary work. He will teach nuns and he will teach in a seminary to help others become priests. With the help of an “uncle” who sees the continuous fighter in him, he answers the call to teach others…to do what he has always wanted to do…serve God.
That is where the miracle comes in. He is called to China…a place where there is no CF doctors and no CF medicines. (It is not a disease that afflicts Asians). He is called to a place that is in a communist country. You can’t send CF meds to that country for fear the packages would be opened and the medicine (expensive medicine) would be lost. And…he is called to one of the most polluted cities there. Not good for any lungs. Even worse for CF lungs.
Today he had a check up with his CF doctors at the University of Michigan. Today his lungs are “healthy” and he has permission to return to China. To a place with no CF doctors…no CF medicines…polluted air. He returns there because an “uncle” believed in him. He returns there because God called him there. He returns there because he is a continuous fighter. Still. Always.
PS: Thank you U of M for your great care. (Hail to the Victors Valiant!) Thank you Joey for teaching him how to fight…continuously. Thank you Tim for fighting…continuously. Thank you God for blessing…continuously.