~ A THANK YOU LETTER TO "DREWBS" ~
I am Sharon’s sister, Sheila, and this is my husband, Pat. He is my pillar of strength so I asked him to stand with me while I do the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Before I go further, on behalf of David, Sharon and Michael, I would like to thank the hundreds of you who have offered so much help, support and comfort. Most conversations start out by saying “I don’t know what to do…” but, truth is, by your support, your love, your prayers and your very presence today, you not only know what to do. You are doing it. And I know David, Sharon and Michael, and all of the family, are so grateful…more than you know.
As I said, I am Sharon’s sister but, more importantly, today I am Aunt Smickmee. I guess Aunt Sheila was hard to say so Michael started calling me Aunt Smickmee and Andy…like a good little brother…did what his big brother did. Only two people in the whole world get to call me Aunt Smickmee. So today I stand before you today as Aunt Smickmee.
When Sharon and David first asked me to give a talk for Andy, after I said “sure” I wondered two important things. I wondered how I would ever have the strength to stand here at my nephew’s funeral and talk. Then I remembered I have been blessed with a new guardian angel. He is big and strong and has those arms that he gave the best hugs with. So I didn’t have to wonder about strength. I know Andy is holding me up with his hugging arms.
Then I wondered what I would say. How could I do justice to his powerful 19 years of life? Then I remembered what my dad taught us and what Sharon and David taught their boys. When you receive a gift…especially one you really treasure…you write a thank you letter. Andy’s life was a gift that I will always cherish, so with the help of our sister, Susan, this is our thank you letter to Andy.
Dearest Drewbs:
(He called me Smickmee. I called him Drewbs. It’s part of the goofy fun we had together.)
Thank you for the gift of your life. Thank you for blessing our lives from the moment we were expecting you and for gifting us on January 24, 1989 with your being. People pray and pray for a healthy baby and you didn’t want us to worry. You came into the world at 10 strong pounds and we didn’t have to wonder if you were healthy. We didn’t have wonder anymore if you would be so cute. Your fuzzy little hairs and your beautiful eyes secured right away that you were a beautiful, healthy baby. You were a gift from God.
Thank you for being born to such incredible parents. You don’t get to pick your parents. They are a gift from God. So, now as we question why such sad things happen, it is good to remember that good things happen…like being blessed with Sharon and David Gauthier as your parents.
David Gauthier as your father! How blessed can you be? I wonder if God said I have two little hockey guys who will need guidance and someone to direct their determination and their goals (literally). Then God blessed you and Michael with David Gauthier as your father, and, in turn, blessed your dad with two amazing sons.
In talking with your dad on Sunday, just hours after your death, I remarked how lucky you were to have him for a father. I recalled all the time he spent coaching you and your teams, all the games and tournaments he went to, all the memories you made together from hockey to fishing to watching that movie together last Saturday. He looked at me with tear-filled eyes and said “I have no regrets.”. WOW! How many parents can say that? That speaks volumes to the type of father you were blessed with.
And, Andy, what about your mom? Could a mother love children more than she loved you? You and Michael are her world. She was always at your side. Always. From learning to crawl, to walking, to riding a bike, to the first time you were on skates. She was there to support you. Not to keep you from falling but to help you up when you did. The words “family first” are tattooed on her heart.
She supported and encouraged from the sidelines and the proof is in a golf picture that I love. I have seen it several times over the past few years. You at a high school golf tournament taking your beautiful golf swing. That’s why I loved it. You are so tall and the swing seemed so perfect. This week is the first time I noticed your mother in the background of that picture. How typical of your mom. Always in the background encouraging and supporting while her sons do amazing things. Proof again that she is always there. When you were a baby your crib got little use because she loved to have you sleeping in her arms…or sitting on her lap while she read a book. Lots of pictures of both of you and Michael safe in her arms…close to her heart…where you will always be.
Hey, Andy, thanks for having the best brother in the world. He taught you way more than how to say “Aunt Smickmee”. If big brothers are supposed to be role models, you hit the jackpot. Your love of hockey and desire to excel had to come from watching Mike on the ice. Your assets as a teammate and your leadership as captain came from first seeing the letter “C” on Mike’s jersey. From fishing together, to late night talks, to video games, to pond hockey, to cheering for those Red Sox, you weren’t just blessed with a big brother, you were blessed with a best friend…and you did what best friends do best…you laughed, you cried, you argued, you loved and you took care of each other.
We were looking at pictures the other day and I think we decided it was when Michael was 8 years old and you were 6 that you caught up to him in height. We laughed about that. Even though you got taller, you still were the one looking up at your big brother. You knew he would watch over you. He has spent the last few days reminding everybody to hug their brother and say “I love you”. He is broken and devastated and he needs a guardian angel. So now it’s your turn to watch over him. Like always, I know you will be there for your brother.
On a personal note, thanks for being a great cousin, nephew and grandson. I know your grandparents in heaven are rejoicing and I know your grandparents here are mourning. But I hope Grammy and Grandpa Jim realize all the fun you had on those trips to Florida and the special memories you made there. I hope your Gauthier relatives realize the memories you made with them created some strong bonds. The great times camping, Christmas parties and the fun times in Muskegon. Heck, I would see the pictures from those family gatherings and wish I could be a Gauthier. You knew how to have fun and take care of each other. I know you are watching over them all in a most special way.
Thanks for putting up with our family every summer. I knew then it was a privilege to watch you and Michael all summer. I just didn’t realize what a gift from God that time was. Not many relatives get to call a cousin “brother”…but you are both like brothers to Joey, Tim and Adam. Instead of wrestling with you in the family room, they are wrestling with devastation. It’s the hardest thing they have ever faced and the magnitude of their sadness is proof how important you were in their lives.
Don’t worry. They will never forget you. Big, strong Joey is crushed. He remembers we always warned them that “one day Andy would be bigger than you guys.” Joey will still boost to be the oldest but concedes you are the tallest. He misses his big, little cousin. Tim will still share video game stories with you and visit you in prayer at the seminary. He told me St. Andrew is the patron saint of fishermen so we hope you are having good luck fishing in heaven. Through tears, Adam took Michael skating for you the other day. They knew going back to the rink would be hard so they went on the ice together. He will still set aside hockey sticks for you and never step foot on the ice without thinking about the other #6 jersey.
Speaking of that, Andy, most of us here would like to thank you for being such a great athlete. Watching you play sports was such a privilege. That determination that challenged your parents (and some teachers) was the same determination that allowed for such tenacity on the ice. I have many favorite hockey memories from all those years we stood by the edge of the rink. I loved how you looked for us there during warm ups. I love how you fought in the corners and denied so many goals. I loved your powerful shot and I loved that surprised look you had whenever the ref ushered you to the penalty box.
Thank you for being such a great teammate and captain. It’s not by accident you were so respected by coaches. You earned that respect. And it’s not by accident that all your pall bearers are former teammates…some of them from your earliest hockey days. I don’t always recognize them off the ice but I know I would recognize the names on the backs of their jerseys because they were such an important part of your life. Each teammate can say you made them better by being their teammate and leading them as captain. You had many great moments on the ice but one of my favorite was after a high school game against East Lansing and I watched you look for Michael Kelly so two captains could shake hands as opponents and reconnect as friends.
Thank you for being such a great friend. How many people get to have a friend that is caring, funny and intelligent all in one package? When I read the facebook comments (by the way I hope you can see them too), I read about how you took care of them, how you were goofy with them and how you helped them with AP classes. For years I thought Ryan Neilson was your middle name because I heard his name so often with yours. There are friends that we have heard about and stories we never knew. Like how you befriended a teammate who had a season-ending injury. While you were being captain on the ice leading a team…you were being friend off the ice sitting with a kid who couldn’t play that year. I’ve heard how proud you are of Anthony as he serves his country. All your friends mean the world to you and you treasure each friendship. All these kids that walked into this place today are the same kids that walked into your heart. Thank you for walking into their heart and making them better because they got to call “Gauth” their friend.
And, Andy, speaking mostly for us grown-ups here, thank you for being such a responsible, courteous young man. Another gift from your parents’ expectations for you. It’s a lost trait for some people these days but you always used your manners. There was always a please, a thank you, a “Can I help you?” every time you were around parents. You always acknowledged us, usually with a hug and a smile. Speaking of that…
A BIG thank you for your hugs and your smiles. It wasn’t a secret that you had a beautiful smile because you shared it with so many people. It wasn’t a secret that you had the best hugs…the strongest hugs. It just seems a cruel twist that when we need your smiles and hugs the most, you aren’t here to spoil us with them. I guess that is where the memories come in. It doesn’t take much to envision your smiles and the power of your hugs.
And yes, Andy, I am almost done. I know I am the auntie that always went on and on. I would message you late at night and ask a ba-zillion questions that you patiently answered but I secretly know you were saying…”enough already, Aunt Smickmee…” So…just one more thing:
Thank you for your Christian heart. I know you are in heaven because of your Christian heart. Your grandfather Sims loved the word compassion. We all saw it. When you held Dagen and Nolan, when you drove across town to show me a stray kitten you and Kate found, when you sat with Champ, Riley and Calli at your feet, when you worried about cousins who were sick and when you prayed so hard for your friend, Micah.
Andy, I know you get to see the face of God. While you are there could you please tell Him that we all have questions? LOTS of questions. We are all trying to make sense of this and we are trying to understand His plan. We know He needed you in heaven…maybe he drafted you to the hockey team up there. Even though we all have so many questions and are desperately seeking some peace, I hope we can take great comfort in knowing this very important fact: You already have the answers. You have already asked God the questions that swirl in our minds…and in our hearts. Not only do you have the answers, you have peace. May the fact that you don’t question God’s plan…may the fact that you have found peace…bring some peace and comfort to us all.
Also, I have heard that Mary, the mother of Jesus, sits by God in heaven. Could you please do me a huge favor? Could you please ask Mary to watch over your mom and your dad? Mary, too, had a son who died. She was human who suffered the same pain they are feeling. She understands their broken hearts and she weeps for them. Mary can truly whisper to their hearts and say “I understand your pain. I have been where you are.” Could you please ask her to shower your mom, your dad and your brother with extra special graces so they can feel her comfort, her love and her faith.
Lastly, I know your Christian heart believes that Jesus is the Good Shepherd. That He gathers the lamb safe in His arms, holds him close to His heart and carries him safely home. Thank you for being safely home.
Thank you for making the tapestry of our lives stronger and more beautiful because it was woven with Andy threads that will remain forever. Thank you in advance for being the best guardian angel ever. You’ve got a big job ahead of you. We love you, Drewbs. Always, Aunt Smickmee.